Yea so hubs and I were bored, bored BORED. Nothing to do in this city, zilch, nothing, nada. So, who do we call? DVD wala!
For the uninitiated, Pakistan has a thriving DVD piracy industry. And it's damn cheap to boot. For a mere 60 rupees, you can get the latest film. Following a show? These guys burn the episodes as soon as they are aired off in US, UK, wherever. FYI, 60 rupees is like 60 cents. Cheap and easy, just like my husband, as he's so fond of saying. Now what that comment implies as far as I'm concerned, I don't really want to know.
So anyhoos, off to the DVD wala we go. Among the craptastic slasher movies which are a dime a dozen these days (seriously, what's with the renaissance of gore? Lousy acting, stupid story lines, low budget sets, and Godawful dialogue. Jesus wept) we find GI Joe Retaliation, and Olympus has fallen.
Hubs wants to watch Olympus. I ignore his pleading and put on GI Joe. 2 hours later, after watching the Pakistani president die at the hands of Storm Shadow, a blind African ninja making weird swooshy movements and even weirder comments, a raid on a lair in the mountains which looks like it was borrowed from the Red Skull as a time share, some weird ninja chick who I couldn't give a single rats ass about, the most anti-climatic exit of Channing Tatum (and believe me, that's saying something), and craptastic acting by the Rock, alongside Bruce Fucking Willis doing shitall, our eyeballs went into mutiny at having been subjected to such utter horseshit. Hubs categorically stated, nay, demanded that we immediately watch Olympus Has Fallen to eradicate the travesty that was the GI Joe. I humbly acquiesced.
Oh dear.
I think I expected too much. With actors like Aaron Eckhart, Morgan 'my voice is like manna from heaven' Freeman, and that guy in 300, I honestly thought there would be something interesting here. And yes, if you like those disaster flicks in which famous monuments/buildings are destroyed completely and utterly, then yea the bit where the White House and the Washington Monument are under fire is pretty nicely filmed. The mowing down of innocent civilians is gruesomely done and the sheer bravery and unmitigated all-star Amercian apple pie we-are-so-awesomely-brave -and-noble actions of the US Secret Service agents is highlighted beautifully. And by 'beautifully' I mean shoved in your face. Look! Look at them! See the painful yet glorious way the tall dashing agents are CALLOUSLY mowed down by the evil evil North Koreans.
The story starts out pretty ok, keeping in mind that whenever I look at Gerard Butler I imagine him screeching 'THIS.........IS..........SPARTA!'. Actually, it would have been AWESOME if he said that sometime in the movie! The presidents son is too cute, as is his code name, Sparkplug. Love it! Morgan Freeman looks good, and sounds even better, but there was no fire there. It was lacklustre. Now his acting in Invictus was legendary. That was such a beautiful epic film.
Eckhart is actually quite palatable as the US president. At least he doesn't try to do the whole bombastic patriotic over the top persona. He's calm, likeable and shows the man behind the office of the President. Rick Yune was alright, although I missed his diamonds from Die Another Day. The bits when Butler is ninjaing his way through the White House and being awesome, was pretty.....awesome? However, at the end, it was a 'meh' movie. Compared to the usual summer films, not bad. By itself, 'meh'. Less than the sum of its parts. A movie to watch, and forget. Now that's not bad for a summer flick, but with Freeman and Eckhart, I expected more.
The story starts out pretty ok, keeping in mind that whenever I look at Gerard Butler I imagine him screeching 'THIS.........IS..........SPARTA!'. Actually, it would have been AWESOME if he said that sometime in the movie! The presidents son is too cute, as is his code name, Sparkplug. Love it! Morgan Freeman looks good, and sounds even better, but there was no fire there. It was lacklustre. Now his acting in Invictus was legendary. That was such a beautiful epic film.
Eckhart is actually quite palatable as the US president. At least he doesn't try to do the whole bombastic patriotic over the top persona. He's calm, likeable and shows the man behind the office of the President. Rick Yune was alright, although I missed his diamonds from Die Another Day. The bits when Butler is ninjaing his way through the White House and being awesome, was pretty.....awesome? However, at the end, it was a 'meh' movie. Compared to the usual summer films, not bad. By itself, 'meh'. Less than the sum of its parts. A movie to watch, and forget. Now that's not bad for a summer flick, but with Freeman and Eckhart, I expected more.
No comments:
Post a Comment