I went and blew up Rs 5000 in Mango yesterday. With the current devaluation of the Pakistani rupee, that's like around 50 dollars. 50 dollars for a t shirt and tights. Is the tshirt punk and awesome? Oh good God yes. Are the tights cool? Duh. What gets my goat is that I didn't buy it because I wanted to, I bought the clothes so I wouldn't look like a maasi (Urdu word for maid) at my kid's preschool.
In Karachi, darlings, when one sends ones kids off to school, one must dress, y'know, to show all the other families that we come from a 'khata-peeta khandann' (literal translation being an eating and drinking household, which usually implies a decent upper middle class family with tons of dough and connections). No slouching through the gates in your pjs, bloodshot eyes begging the teacher to take your kid off you ASAP so you can go drown yourself in the nearest vat of coffee. Everyone comes with blow dried hair, crisp ironed shalwar kameez or sexy sultry gym gear, matching chapals (sandals), huge ass bag and damn me if their iPhone doesn't have a matching cover to go with the ensemble.
In stark contrast, I went to preschool with my toddler in tow while wearing cropped black culottes, a t shirt which had a cat smoking a cigarette on the front, white slippers, and a ragtag Thai shoulder bag. Go me! And yea it wasn't the whole hippy I'm-so-above-this-and-therefore-awesome thing going on, it was the the-hell-with-this-my-brain-needs-caffeine attitude. First impressions: I don't even want to think about it.
It felt remarkably like the first day in high school (0 and A levels). All the cool girls lounging around with their designer glasses perched perkily on their heads, either chatting away with their BFFs (how lucky that their kids go to school together so they can hang out with each other and not other, less desirable kids), or languidly typing away at their phones, planning their brunches at Xanders and Espresso while the kids are in school. Then there were the mummies who were frazzled beyond belief with other children waiting to be dropped and/or picked up, the women who were brisk and to the point. No casual chit chat for these women, their minds were already focused on the next item in their never-ending to-do list. Finally, the mummies who were just coming out of new mummy exile, the exile where your new baby is the center of your life, but at the same time makes you very much aware that thanks to the little one, you don't have a life anyway. Those mummies who are excited about the free time they will have after their little ones go to school, but at the same time are so scared for their kids that free time is mostly spent biting nails and debating whether calling up auntie whoever for the fifteenth time to ensure their little ludoo is ok is overkill. Yes it is. And yes, I do it too.
So getting back to the point. Perhaps it's the uber cool preschool my kid is in which is causing this sudden rash of insecurity. Perhaps, its the insecurities of the geeky me i though i had left in high school. Why should I care whether or not I'm dressed in the appropriate manner. As long as I'm decent and not vulgar and as long as my kid is dressed neatly, it should be absolutely fine. Unfortunately, it isn't.
This is Defence, Karachi. Where appearances and the done thing is sacrament. One is always presentable, and trained to the social niceties from the age of 1. Where who you hang out with and who you are is more important than your character. Do I care whether im a social pariah? Not really. I've been myself and that's what's important. However, it does affect my kid. It's shallow and hateful and really really insecure of me, but I don't want my son to be affected because his lazy mama couldn't be bothered to go and hang with the other mummies. No play dates, no invitations to parties equals one very lonely kid. And that will not do. Not at all.
Hence the shopping at Mango, I don't want him to be lonely coz his peers' mummies think I'm not good enough, and therefore my kid isn't good enough. Beat them? Not likely. Join them? I can't compete on their level. Decently dressed friendly acquaintance? Perhaps. Time to play kissy face with the yummiest mummies of Karachi.
So getting back to the point. Perhaps it's the uber cool preschool my kid is in which is causing this sudden rash of insecurity. Perhaps, its the insecurities of the geeky me i though i had left in high school. Why should I care whether or not I'm dressed in the appropriate manner. As long as I'm decent and not vulgar and as long as my kid is dressed neatly, it should be absolutely fine. Unfortunately, it isn't.
This is Defence, Karachi. Where appearances and the done thing is sacrament. One is always presentable, and trained to the social niceties from the age of 1. Where who you hang out with and who you are is more important than your character. Do I care whether im a social pariah? Not really. I've been myself and that's what's important. However, it does affect my kid. It's shallow and hateful and really really insecure of me, but I don't want my son to be affected because his lazy mama couldn't be bothered to go and hang with the other mummies. No play dates, no invitations to parties equals one very lonely kid. And that will not do. Not at all.
Hence the shopping at Mango, I don't want him to be lonely coz his peers' mummies think I'm not good enough, and therefore my kid isn't good enough. Beat them? Not likely. Join them? I can't compete on their level. Decently dressed friendly acquaintance? Perhaps. Time to play kissy face with the yummiest mummies of Karachi.
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